- Two years ago today I stood with bated breath my baby girl was coming and I was scared to death.Would she like me?Would she love me? Or more to the point would I love her?
I stood in that hotel room in Chongqing not knowing whether to vomit or to run. Albert stood at the doorway and peering out every now and then to see if the Social workers and children were coming.
The thought kept running through my head, what have I done? Was this a mistake? Did I really want to be a mother? Did I really have what it takes to love a child unconditionally? Love a child that I did not carry inside me for 9 months.
Then we heard the elevator doors open and could hear the sound of a crowd coming down the hall.
Then we heard the sound of squeaky shoes, you know those little plastic sandals kids wear with the squeaker inside them.
Albert put his head out the door and then looked at me with an expression I will never forget. It was a look of absolute adoration. He had the look of a man who had just seen his daughter for the first time.
He said “I think I see Lily and she’s wearing squeaky shoes”
Then time sped up as Lily was carried into the room. ID’s were clarified, instructions were given and she was in my arms.
My arms! My daughter! The most wonderous moment I have ever experienced.
It took four years of paper woork to get to that moment but now I am sitting here looking back and the last two years have gone in the blink of an eye.
At this moment Lily is flitting from the lounge where she is watching Flubber (because she loves Weebo) to her plastic laptop on the table beside me (because she has to send an email).
She has grown so much. She’s had her ears pierced, she has violin lessons on Saturdays. She thinks things are ‘Facinating’ and she loves to boss us all around.
In a word Lily is just ‘Magic’ and I am loving every moment I have with her.
28th May 2007
28th May 2009
2 Years ago Lily did not know how to cuddle. She was unfamiliar with it. She was stiff and unyielding whenever we picked her up. Now she melts into my arms like warm butter.
May 28, 2009 at 11:51 pm |
That was such a wonderful story of how you met Lily. My adoption story is 32 years old now. But I wrote of the special moment and sent it in to New Idea magazine, they published it . Adoptive parents carry their prospective children in their hearts during the process of adoption. We waited 2 years for Adam. I still
know that he was Gods gift to our family. Beth
May 29, 2009 at 8:06 am |
FANTASTIC post Rachel!! I too experienced all those conflicting emotions before Forever Day, (and for a little while afterwards!) It is such an overwhelming experience, meeting these amazing little people for the first time. You have summed it up beautifully. Congratulations on two wonderful years together!!
Cristina xxx
July 21, 2009 at 10:42 am |
This is so precious… how I am counting down the days…