Can you out stare Jessica Alba?

 

Remember as a kid those staring competitions?

Those were the days.

can you out stare Jessica Alba?

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it’s just a phone number

My Dad has been dead 6 years last November and his phone number is still in my mobile phone.

I can’t delete it. It’s there like an old cardigan he may have left on a chair. It’s all I have left off him.

That one way I had to contact a man who was not really apart of my life after my parents divorced.

That man who married again and embraced a new family, casting the old family off with his old life.

But regardless he was my dad and that number in my mobile was his number.

I wonder what would happen if I called that number? Would my step mother answer?

Would she hang up when she realised it was me?

This woman who insisted my dad’s first and second born were not recognised at the funeral.

Does this make me illegitimate?

To sit staring at the coffin of man who once hugged me and sang to me and loved me as his daughter.

But who now lays here with all the people of his new life, who are strangers to me .

One man asks me.‘Who are you?’

I reply, “I am Michael’s daughter”

“Really? I did not realise he had other children.”

I think to myself ‘other children? other children?’ Once there was a time when I was his only child. I was the reason he was called father.

But now I sit staring at the coffin of a stranger, while his friends bow their heads that he is gone and his ‘new’ family weep that he is no longer with them.

But once he was with me and I with him.

It still makes me sad…

Maybe next year I will delete the number from my phone. It might be easier then.

Thinking….

There is talk at the moment on the ability to get ‘Australian’ birth certificates for our Chinese born daughters.

I am just wondering whether this is a good thing or not. I am uneasy about it but can’t quite think it through.

Of course if Lily had a birth certificate it would make things easier for her in regards to being enrolled in school, getting a drivers licence. But is it right just because it’s easier?

There were comments being bandied around about how our childrens adoption certificate is no better than a dog’s registration certificate and that it screams that our children are different. Well they are different. No better or worse just different. Why as adoptive parents whould we ‘attempt’ to hide this fact. And I say attempt because with an internationally adopted child there is no pulling it off. Obviously the two red heads at the supermarket checkout did not give birth to the little dark haired Asian child. Most people accept at a glance that this family is made by adoption. (this has been my experience)

I feel like instead of efforts being made to ‘normalise’ our children and assist them to fit the mold, we should be trying to change the attitudes of the people and society around us to accept that yes adoptions is one other brilliant way to form a family just as having biological children is.

I want Lily to be proud that she was adopted. Not ashamed of it. Is giving her a aussie birth cert that doesn’t draw attention to her adoption just as bad as pretending she is not adopted?

Is this not instilling in our kids early that being adopted is a shameful thing? To avoid discussing it?

Instead of petitioning government offices to issue Aussie birth certificates maybe we should be petitioning them to make starting school and getting drivers licences etc easier for those people without birth certificates.

This would not just assist children of adoption but refugees and displaced peoples who cannot reference a birth certificate.

Just thinking out loud……