Swinging in the Sunshine and the Desires of our Heart

She’s out there now. My Daughter, swinging in the sunshine on the old wooden swing under the tree in our back yard.

I never tire of looking at her. She is a beautiful and amazing gift from God.

I don’t know long I will get to keep writing here today because she is calling for me to come and play in the sunshine.

I will hold this thought and get back to you shortly.

That old mothers day quote seems especially true at the moment.

“Making the decision to have a child – It’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”- Elizabeth Stone

Lily was never what I imagined when I dreamed of motherhood. Yet she is so much more than I could ever have dreamed of.

God says in the book of psalms ch 37 verses 4-8 that;
Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. {5} Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. {6} He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday. {7} Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, Because of the man who brings wicked schemes to pass. {8} Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it only causes harm.

I know the Bible says this. I know Gods word is true yet I am constantly surprised by the depth of love I have for Lily and how she is truly the daughter of my heart.

This is all on my mind as Alberts four year old cousin Jake, is in the ICU in Townsville. He has internal injuries and is critical. My heart hurts for his Mum and Dad, Ted and Hannah. Their anguish must be great. Our children really are our hearts walking around outside our bodies.
Praying for Jakes’ recovery.


Feeling Peppy and encouraged

Spring is coming and I am just loving the weather at the moment. (Look out window at the rain) Well today doesn’t count. But we have had glorious weather here in Sydney for the past week.

Last week got to hang out with some lovely ladies and learn some flower arranging.

The great weather has  inspired to do some crafts  and get into my craft room as well and start sorting through the piles and boxes of craft supplies I have hoarded over the last 6 months.

I finished the poncho I had started for my niece.

 I made another one for Lily and then I even got some hairclips made.

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Would love to know what you think.

A Week of Learning

It’s been such a wonderful week of learning new things and growing beyong my comfort zone. I have so many things going through my mind right now.

Last Monday and Tuesday I was priviledged enough to attend the Sydney Acts 29 Bootcamp. The information I got was mind blowing to say  the least. It was one of those times when you know soomething but you don’t really KNOW it.

The speakers just laid all the information out in such a simple but insightful way. They talked about Christians being Missional minded and Community focused.  I know your saying ” Yeah so what’s the revelation?”

But think about it. How often are we Missional Minded and Community focused? I think we get off track alot of times on what the Gospel real is.

Reaching people with the Gospel of Christ is not all about handing out tracks and sticking our foot in someones doorway and telling them to pray the prayer of  repentance becauuse their hell bound.

The gospel is about getting out there and meeting people in our community and finding out what their needs are and showing them that Christ can meet their every need.

My head is just a buzz with ideas on how to share the gospel. Christ’s love is what gets me through everyday and I want to share that with people.

Then on Sunday our Pastor talked more about the  gosepl and how in Christ there is freedom to serve Him. That there is NO condemnation in Christ. I’ve read this a hundred times but I really didn’t get it till this Sunday. It was such a revelation to me. Being a christian is not about abiding to the man made rules that a lot of churches set out or make you feel guilty when you don’t live like them. Christs death on the cross took away ALL my guilt and shame. Romans 8 says

1Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

I can let go of all my baggage that I carry with me constantly. It’s a wonderful feeling to leave it all behind.

Then I get this great link  from my sister and it just ties in with the rest of the week. Its been wonderful.

it’s been far to long my friend…..

Dear Blog

Please forgive me for my absence it has been far to long since we last conversed.

 Seriously though I can not believe it has been a year since I last blogged. So much happening in my universe.

And I love it! 

A year ago I did not think I would be  where I am today. In that one year I have met people, been places and ate things that I just never expected.

Which takes me back to the point I have blogged on before.


Change gets us to step outside ur comfort barrier. Although sometimes it feels like Change has shoved us out with a firm hand in the middle of our back!

This time last year I was about to attend my first Equip Wives seminar at St Andrews Cathedral Sydney. I was terrified. Albert had booked and paid for me to go and he had told me… “Go, make some new friends”

We had recently moved to the other side of the city  where we really did not know anyone apart from the people at the new church we were attending.  I had already begun to make friends there but the Seminar was Wives of those  in ministry so when it came to attending the seminar, being the wife of the Pastor meant I was going to the seminar alone.

I arrived at the seminar alone feeling very awkward and uncomfortable. There was a couple hundred women there and they all seemed to know each other.

The first hour or so of the seminar I sat alone hoping that people would talk to me but on the other hand hoping they wouldn’t. Isn’t that silly?

But then a lovely lady came up out of the crowd and intorduced herself and chatted for awhile. She was so nice. She introduced to some more  ladies and I had a wonderful day.

So the day started off seemingly doomed to failure but in the end was lovely. I met people  who are now friends and I am looking forward to attending again this year.

I was forced to put myself out there. Forced to  put my emotions out for people to see. And don’t we all hate that? Because on some level we all hate knock backs. I sometimes feel like I am back in the school yard standing there waiting to be picked for the sports team, having those two team leaders eye me up and down and assess me to see if I am worthy to play for them.

Do they still do that school ? I hope teachers have done away this system of choosing teams. It’s quite cruel.

Anyway as you have probably already gathered this blog entry is a bit of a meander. I have been thinking about  the past year alot  and am just trying to blog out some of my thoughts.

  • Change is good
  • Blessings come when you are brave enough to put yourself out for examination (not always but alot of the time)
  • And teachers should abandon the ‘Team Leaders Choose Sports Team’ method.

How do you become a Christian Mum

We witnessed 2 people being baptised at Church today and it raised a lot of questions for Lily, now aged 3 1/2.

She wanted to know why the people went in and under the water. I explained to her that it was to show a picture of how our old sinful life is buried and we come out of the grave a new clean spirit because Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I explained to her that when you believe that Jesus is God’s son and that the reason He died on the cross was for you then that means you are a ‘Christian’.  When you ask Jesus to come and live in your heart and let Him lead your life you will live with God in heaven when you die.

Lily then said that when she is big like me and her father then she will be a Christian. I told her that she did not have to wait until she was old to be a Christian. I told her, “You can be a Christian when you are any age, even a kid“.

Lily then said she wanted to be a Christian and, “Mum. Shh be quiet now I want to pray”.

So, at 11am today, this is what she prayed;

Dear God, and Jesus, please come and live right here in my heart and help me to be a Christian so I can go to heaven when I die. Amen.

Ahh, a childs faith is so precious and simple isn’t it?

Positive Response from Warner

More Information on the protest against the ORPHAN film.



I wanted to share with you that I just got off the phone with Scott Rowe, Sr. Vice President of Corporate Communication at Warner Bros. You will be happy to know that they have changed their marketing materials and have removed the offending statement “It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own” has been removed from all future trailers.

A few items of note:

• The current trailer (with the offending statement) will still be used during the previews of the horror film “Drag Me to Hell”, which opens this week-end. Unfortunately, on such short notice, there was nothing that can be done about this.

• The next movie that the trailer will be shown at is “The Hangover”, which comes out June 15th. By this time, the current trailer will be replaced with the new trailer (sans statement).

• They will swap out the trailers for all television advertising. They have not yet begun advertising for this film yet, so there should be no worries of children seeing it.

• The current trailer is still on the Web site, but they are working to rectify that immediately and Scott has spoken with the Warner Bros. Web team about this again this afternoon.

• Because the film is Rated-R, it will only be shown as a trailer for other Rated-R films. The trailer will also only be shown on television after 10 p.m. (i.e. not during times when young children would be expected to watch).

As I am sure many of you have assumed, there is a hook to the film that ultimately removes the child/orphan stigma, which is neither here nor there as it relates to current public positioning of the film — and that issue is no more.

The producers and distributor took your concerns to heart and have made the changes in the public-facing marketing materials that we had hoped.

I would like to add that Scott mentioned that Warner Bros. employees get death threats for things as trivial as changing the release date of the new Harry Potter film. “Yet, the adoption community, who are protecting their children and who have every right to be angry, has been nothing but respectful.” he said.

Kuddos to all of you! Please do pass this information along so that others can know that their voice was heard.

-Bethann Buddenbaum & Jill Henry

2 Years have gone

    Two years ago today I stood with bated breath my  baby girl was coming and I was scared to death.Would she like me?Would she love me? Or more to the point would I love her?

    I stood in that hotel room in Chongqing not knowing whether to vomit or to run. Albert stood at the doorway and peering out every now and then to see if the Social workers and children were coming.

    The thought kept running through my head, what have I done? Was this a mistake? Did I really want to be a mother? Did I really  have what it takes to love a child unconditionally? Love a child that I did not carry inside me for 9 months.

    Then we heard the elevator doors open and could hear the sound of a crowd coming down the hall. 

    Then we heard the sound of squeaky shoes, you know those little plastic sandals kids wear with the squeaker inside them.

    Albert put his head out the door and then looked at me with an expression I will never forget. It was a look  of absolute adoration. He had the look of a man who had just seen his daughter for the first time.

    He said “I think I see Lily and she’s wearing squeaky shoes”

    Then time sped up as Lily was carried into the room. ID’s were clarified, instructions were given and she was in my arms.

    My arms! My daughter! The most wonderous moment I have ever experienced.

    It took four years of paper woork to get to that moment but now I am sitting here looking back and the last two years have gone in the blink of an eye.

    At this moment Lily is flitting from  the lounge where she is watching Flubber (because she loves Weebo) to her plastic laptop on the table beside me (because she has to send an email).

    She has grown so much. She’s had her ears pierced, she has violin lessons on Saturdays. She thinks things are ‘Facinating’ and she loves to boss us all around.

    In a word Lily is just ‘Magic’ and I  am loving  every moment I have with her.

     28/05/0728th May 200728/05/09

    28th May 2009






2 Years ago Lily did not know how to cuddle. She was unfamiliar with it. She was stiff and unyielding whenever we picked her up. Now she melts into my arms like warm butter.








Lily 005Dad and Lily forever Day2

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